Ten Examples of How Lazy I Am

Happy Wednesday y'all! You know what that means, it's time for Ten Things! The inspiration for today's post actually came from one of my coworkers when I made a comment to him about how damn far away he parked. Which leads to my first example of how lazy I am...

1. I park as close as possible. If this involves driving around for an hour, or stalking someone from the moment they walk out the door, I will find the closest spot available. This also applies if I find a spot that is entirely too small to fit a car...as long as I can get my door open 6 inches to get out, I am parking there. And slamming my door into the side of the vehicle who parked like a jackass, causing me to squish my car into a tiny space.


2. Under no circumstances will I take the stairs. If there is an elevator, an escalator, or a man willing to carry me nearby, I will not climb any stairs. I can do the stairstepper at the gym, but I will not voluntarily use stairs when presented with the option. And it irritates the shit out of me when I read magazines and that is always an example of how to get more activity in your day. Take the stairs! Yeah RIGHT. Climbing three flights of stairs doesn't even burn off the calories in one oreo so why the hell bother???

3. I drink straight out of the bottle like it's my job. Water, soda, even booze...I am usually too lazy to get a glass unless company is over. And even then, if we're talking about alcohol, all bets are off after a few drinks anyway. Some days, I just bring the whole bottle of soda over to the couch and then I'm set for the day. No getting up required unless it's to pee.

4. I never untie my shoes before taking them off. This is a big no-no for runners because it stretches out your shoes, thus you don't get as much support and they wear out more quickly. Conversely, if I can get them ON without untying them, even better. I was in heaven a few years back when bike shoes were in fashion and I could get away with velcro. I can't do that now unless I want to look like a third grader.

5. If my clothes are wrinkled, I through them in the dryer for 5 minutes instead of ironing. Or I just wear them wrinkled. I actually don't think my iron has been used in almost a year. And I don't own an ironing board. I know it looks sloppy and unkept having wrinkly clothes, but I just cannot bring myself to iron.

6. I consider shaving my legs in the winter to be optional. I know a lot of you ladies are with me. One of the few things I like about winter is I don't have to worry about being hair free so that I can wear shorts and skirts. Plus it saves money on shaving cream and razors. And since the decent razors cost more than my rent, that's a good chunk of change.

7.  I don't wash my hair everyday. Ladies, I cannot stress this enough. If you have not tried dry shampoo, go out right now and buy some. I literally have saved hours every week not having to wash my hair everyday. The dry shampoo does the job and to be perfectly honest, once I'm on the second day of dry shampoo, my hair looks fantastic. Sometimes laziness pays off.

8. I leave dishes in the sink until they smell or there is mold. I know this one is really disgusting, and I have improved upon it since the boy moved in with me because he doesn't really need to know how disgusting I am (even though he knows now). Unfortunately I now live in a place that doesn't have a dishwasher, but luckily the boy doesn't mind doing dishes.

9. It appears that I live in my car. If I have to bring something with me somewhere, it hardly ever makes it's way back into the house. About twice a year I clean out my car. I usually find about five pairs of shoes, a million slips of paper, random books and CDs, water bottles, etc. When I go to get out of the car and know there's something that needs to come in, 9 times out of 10 I will just say "oh I will grab it next trip." And then I never do. Some people hoard things in their house. I hoard things in my car.

10. I never try things on. And then I never return them. This is not just a lazy habit, but a costly one too. I hate trying things on in the store. It's so much effort to take your clothes off in the dressing room, put on the new clothes, take the new clothes off, put your old ones back on, and then go buy them. I just buy whatever I think looks good with the premise that I will return it if it doesn't fit. Well I usually am too lazy to return it and I either end up giving it to goodwill or forcing myself to wear it so I don't feel wasteful. Yeah, I'm lazy.

What are you lazy about?