Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Signs I'm Getting Old (at 28)

I'm 28 going on 80. Practically overnight I can feel the chains of death pulling me closer to it's evil grip. Ok, so maybe that's a little dramatic. I actually have no problem with aging at all...just like Joan Rivers.

The signs are all there. Here are the signs that I am getting old fast...

1. Hangovers. In college, my hangover would last an hour. Pop a tylenol, eat some greasy leftover pizza for breakfast and I was good to go! What time does the next party start? Not anymore friends. Now, I need Motrin 500s, a full breakfast, an extra 5 hours of sleep, and another twelve hours lying on the couch recovering. Getting drunk is now a full three day day of actual drinking and then two more for recovery.

2. I'm tired by 9pm everynight. Which leads me to #3...

3. I can fall asleep anywhere. Sitting up. Propped up. Laying down. On the bus. At work. Mid-conversation.

4. Eating too much fiber now has detrimental consequences. Gone are the days of eating indiscriminantly whatever and whenever I feel like it. I now notice that eating certain combinations of foods can have disasterous effects.

5. My idea of a great Friday night is dinner with the boy, movie at home on the couch, in bed by 10. Quality time!

6. Liking Justin Bieber music makes me feel like a pedophile. Sure I loved New Kids on the Block and the Backstreet Boys back in the day, but back then they were age appropriate for me. What is my excuse for loving Justin Bieber??

7. U2 is now played on classic rock stations. When did this happen?

8. I sometimes wonder if muscle soreness is a sign of early onset arthritis. And then I hobble around like an old lady.

9. Cleavage. As in, I hate showing it now because it makes me feel unprofessional. Plus as you get older, things look better covered up. In college, it was the more boobage the better!!! Oh I miss those days when showing the goodies actually got you some where.

10. I constantly find myself having "remember when" conversations with my friends. As in, remember that movie The Sandlot? Or, remember that time we ran from the cops in high school with our twelve pack of natty ice? Or, remember when slap bracelets were cool?

What has you feeling old these days?


  1. Love love love this post!! I have to say the way I'm feeling old is when remembering that I used to complain to my husband that we never go anywhere. Now, he says, okay let's go somewhere and I say: Nah, I just want to sit at home. I would much rather sit at home than go out. This would never have been the 25 year old me.

  2. Haha! This is hilarious! "remember that time we ran from the cops in high school with our twelve pack of natty ice" Ohhhh. those days. :)

  3. Amen to all of the above! I also am feeling the aging process. My recent development is that my knees hurt when I bend down. Yep :\

  4. The hangovers and the fact I have to be in bed by 10 or else I feel terrible the next day! Turning 30 soon and NOT looking forward to it!

  5. Hehe, too funny. I think the fact that I used a day off from work to deep clean my apartment is a huge sign that I'm getting old. I even enjoyed it. Yikes.

  6. Oh my goodness, I can relate to every single one of these things.

    I just told my Fiance the other night that I wanted a night where we could just lay on the couch with each other and do NOTHING! That was my ideal night!

  7. Get out of my head! I agree/understand wholeheartedly with I RARELY plan on getting drizity unless it's a long weekend (sad), I love being in bed by 10 on weekends and after I sit too long (i.e. getting up from toilet -- TMI, sorry) I seriously feel like I need a good stretch.

  8. Oh god. Mysterious Ways is on the lunchtime rewind right now. It can't be that old...I can't be that old!

    I get a hangover from two drinks. I hate my body!

  9. I used to NEVER get hangovers, ever. Then sometime after I turned 21, Ironic right, I started getting sick the next day and unable to recover, and it's only gotten worse.

  10. Haha, you're good, don't worry. I love chill Friday nights too... although I stay up a bit later ;)

  11. Haha, totally agree with all of this. The hangovers are the worst. It started around 23 and has gotten worse every year. The future scares me for that reason.
    I feel the same way about cleavage. I used to be all about it and now it makes me feel slutty and awkward.

  12. My knees creak when I drop it like it's hot. Creaky=not hot.

  13. This is funny and I can relate to so many of these! The Sandlot was one of my favorite movies growing up.

  14. The hangover thing makes me feel old for sure. And the fact that I just realized that I graduated high school 15 years old. How did that happen? 15??

  15. Ok, I hate when you do lists b/c I agree with every single item and I want to just like one or two and not be generic saying "OMG me too!" but yeah, I agree with all of these.

    *muscle soreness-why the eff am I so sore? What happened to the old me? 31 sucks
    *sleep-I can fall asleep anywhere and actually fell asleep at work once-embarrasing.
    *Cleavage. Hell to the yeah agree with you. I used to follow the motto it takes skin to win and now I find myself safety pinning alot of my tops.
    *Remember when happens to me all the time. I also tell the youngins to appreciate their youth.
    Thats it, I'm too tired too type anything else.

  16. This post was like looking into a mirror.
    A mirror of words on a cumputer screen that echo the thoughts in my head, but you get the picture :)
    I am also 28 and realizing that old age is an evil mistress just lurking around the corner. Proof? I screamed "SLOW DOWN" and mumbled "damn kids" immediately after this weekend at a car going down my road. And then I secured my robe and fixed my rollers and went back inside.