Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Ten Legitimate Reasons Not to Workout
1. Your trainer broke up with you. That's right, my trainer broke up with me. I was stupid enough to get sucked into buying a training package thinking I would use it and it would do me good. Well after cancelling one appointment (with plenty of notice) and sleeping through another, my trainer cancelled ALL of my training appointments. I only went to the gym after that when I knew she wasn't going to be there. I did run into her a few times and I awkwardly avoided eye contact, but every time I could feel her judgement bearing down on me. This is one of the reasons I moved.
2. You forgot to do laundry. I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to me. Sure, some people would suck it up and just wear dirty clothes to the gym...but this isn't like wearing a pair of work pants twice in the same week (yes I have done that)...you have already SWEATED in used gym clothes.There is a layer of dirt and grime and disgustingness in used gym clothes. Not to mention the smell. Do you really want to be that girl that people can smell before they even get close to you? The gym on it's own smells funky enough. Leave your stank ass at home. Or at least run outside away from the public.
3. Your iPod isn't charged. I have stayed home from the gym on numerous occasions because I forgot to charge my iPod and really, who can endure 45 minutes on a cardio machine with no music? If you're lucky you go to a gym with TVs, so you can at least plug your headphones into the TV, but for the unfortunate souls who belong to a gym with no TVs, not having a charged iPod is a perfectly acceptable reason to skip the gym.
4. One of your cats chewed off your shoelace. Cats love new shoes. Especially sneakers because of the shoelaces. My cat Bailey once chewed off one of my shoelaces right at the sneaker, thus making it impossible for me to tie my sneakers until I got new shoelaces. I am not lying when I tell you she is the devil.
5. It is snowing/sleeting/hailing outside. If you live in New England, you know what I mean. Unless you have four wheel drive, and even then it's questionable, traversing treacherous roads just for the sake of burning a little fat really isn't worth it. Besides, if it's inclement weather outside, do you really want to go out there in shorts anyway to warm up your car? No. Don't do it.
6. Working out would ruin your great hair day. Girls with long or difficult hair, I know you feel me here. You spend close to an hour on your hair and if you didn't go to the gym, you could get at least 2 or 3 days out of it...but one sweat session and your hair needs to be done all over again. A good hair day may be rare, don't waste the opportunity for 2 or 3 days of great hair is my philosophy.
7. Your stomach is empty or full. If I'm too hungry or have just eaten, I can't go to the gym. Either way, I'm going to feel a little sick. I just can't force myself to work out if I'm hungry because food is all I think about and if I wait too long, you know a binge is coming. On the flip side, if I'm too full, I know that I am going to have the urge to vomit once my heartrate gets about 130, and really that wouldn't be good for anyone. Best to stay home and let things digest.
8. You carried the groceries in the house today, that counts as a workout, right? Why YES it does. Give yourself a break, you earned it almost breaking a sweat carrying in all those bottles of soda and candy.
9. You have a twinge in your foot that could be exercise-related pain or it could be because you sat on it and it fell asleep. Better not risk it, you don't want to get injured. This applies to not just your foot falling asleep but to any random soreness or pain you are feeling in your body. However arbitrary it may be, it's a damn good excuse for ducking out of going to the gym.
10. It's peak hours and you KNOW you are not finding a parking lot within 5 miles. This one is especially true with the bigger gyms (LA Fitness, Equinox, etc). For whatever reason, they hock memberships like they are going out of style yet insist on only allowing parking for 25 people at a time. This relates to my ten examples of how I am lazy. If I have to park a certain distance away from the gym (particularly if it's cold out) you can bet your ass I'm turning right around, driving home, throwing my jammies on and watch Biggest Loser instead. Watching Biggest Loser is almost the same as working out anyway.
How do you get out of working out?