Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Ten Things I Hate About the Gym

Hey hey! So during my sweat sesh this morning, I got to thinking. There are some really annoying things about going to the gym. And in the spirit of sharing, I decided to list my top ten for you!

1. People who wear cologne or perfume to the gym. Don't they know that as they start to sweat that smell starts to choke everyone around you?? And who are you trying to impress? This is a gym, not a bar.

2. Women who wear make up. This shows a complete lack of motivation to work out. Clearly if you were here to work out, you wouldn't be wearing makeup because the minute you started to sweat, the makeup would melt and you would look like a raccoon or a clown that got caught in the rain. Just tragic.

3. Meatheads. You know the ones. The guys that grunt as they are lifting weights. My friend Jimmy is one of these guys. Only instead of grunting, he makes this hissing sound. Clearly I understand that it takes a lot of effort to lift heavy weights and that some grunting may be necessary, but honestly, you can keep it quiet. Meatheads grunt loudly so that everyone knows that they are lifting heavy weights and are subsequently impressed. I'm not impressed, just annoyed.

4. Special classes that you have to pay extra for. I go to BSC in Waltham, which already charges me a small fortune and made me sign a contract promising I would give them my first born if I ever dared to cancel, so how is it that they can get away with offering these special extra classes and charge you $200 for an eight week class?? I already pay to go here, those classes should be free for members.

5. Sign up sheets for classes. This is irritating because if the gym's classes are filling up and sign up sheets are necessary, they aren't offering enough classes. I pay astronomical prices for gym memberships specifically for the classes. If I just wanted to run on a treadmill, I would pay $10 to join planet fitness. But I don't. I pay that money for the classes, and if I can't get into the classes because they are always full, then why the hell do I pay to be a member here??

6. Class instructors who don't actually do what they tell you to do. This drives me crazy. It happens the most during spin. The instructor will get off the bike and yell at you to keep going, or pedal faster, or increase that resistance...as they are standing there. How demotivating is that? If you as the instructor can't even keep up, how do you expect your class to be able to keep up?

7. Women who walk around the locker room buck naked. I've heard that men do this also. I understand that you are naked when you get out of the shower and then you have to walk to your locker for your clothes, but there are women who blow dry their hair, put on their make up, and chat, all while in the nude. Please. Please. Please. Put your clothes on before trying to have a conversation with me about how great Body Pump was today.

8. The "complimentary" personal training session. Any gym that has a personal training component now offers a free session. This is where they attempt to ROB YOU BLIND by selling you a personal training package. I know they rob you blind because I myself fell victim to the jazz hands routine they give you to get excited about having your own personal trainer and how cheap it is per session. What they don't tell you is that they don't actually have any personal trainers available when you have time to train (the ones that are available, beware, because there's a reason why they don't have appointments booked) and that your half hour session really only ends up being 10 minutes worth of actual work, which isn't enough to see any results. And again, you cannot get out of your personal training contract without giving them a kidney. Oh and by the way, they will HAUNT you until you schedule that complimentary session.

9. The smell. This one really doesn't an explanation. No matter how well ventilated the gym is, it always smells like an old dirty pair of socks. With a splash of cologne here and there from the jackasses who Axe it up before they work out in hopes that one of the divorced soccer moms with fake boobs will swoon.

10. People that don't wipe down their machines. If you're only on for a few minutes, ok, I can let that slide. But when you have unleashed a raining sweatstorm on your machine for the last hour, wipe that shit up. Someone has to use that after you and it's just disgusting.

What is your biggest gym pet peeve?


  1. What if I come from work with my makeup on? I agree with all of these except that one :)

  2. There is a definite difference between someone who just came from work and someone who gets MADE UP specifically to go to the gym. You can tell the difference between done-this-morning makeup and done ten minutes ago makeup!

  3. Hahaha I love this article. I totally agree, I HATE when I see someone sweating like crazy and then just walk away from their machine without wiping it down. I was on the treadmill the other day and the women on either side of me did this...disgusting. And I am still getting calls from the personal trainers at my gym to come in for my "free complimentary session".